Before and Altar

Of course, the Minister was late.
Well - he had to be:
I was getting married
And two not-so-quick halves
At the Six Bells
Before joining two not-so-Christian halves
With church bells
Must have been a necessity.
I didn't mind that so much
But when "What are we doing here?"
Was his first question
I began to wonder and
With "Are you sure you want to
Proceed?"
As his second,
I felt like demanding my
Six pounds for services to be rendered,
Seven pounds fifty for the organist ("He's good."),
Including VAT and the Collection,
Back.
Anyway, he rustled about in his robes
And mumbled about in his beard,
Cried "God for King .. er .. I mean
"Andrew and Anne.
"Let no man pass under."
(With the emphasis on man
As if I'm not allowed any fun.)
He then pronounced Usmananwaif
Rather well
And looked coy
Which must have been the sign
For us to do the necessary -
Kissing ceilings and all that.
Quite enjoyed that bit,
Although we did wonder why
Everyone suddenly stood up.
To get a better view?
No. Photograph time.
When everyone got a chance
To justify wearing
Hats like double Pimms,
Suits like Bonnie & Clyde,
Colgate toothpaste and
Brylcreem.

After that and reception were
All over we headed for Crete
With little evidence of the day
Apart from rings on our fingers,
Smiles on our faces
And absolutely clear consciences
About unaltered passports
Proclaiming us still
Mr and Miss!
"Well .. er .. we forgot .. er .. to change it,
"You see.
"Honestly."

 

16 August 1973